At the moment I'm living with such a bag filled with mixed emotions. I honestly don't know how I'm feeling half of the time, or if I'm trying to kid myself that I'm okay when all I need to do is have a good cry.
It's at that point, as my good friend Mary tweeted; One of those days where when you drop a pen you want to cry.
Moving in to a new environment is exciting, scary... A lot of things! Living with complete strangers and learning to be completely independent is quite a big stepping stone - and quite a hard one! Being responsible for eating well, getting work done and having the initiative to get yourself to training without the help of your parents to make your breaky in the morning and to get you to the session. Finding my own two feet hasn't been too tricky for me as I've always seen myself as quite an independent person, I don't feel as if I need to rely on others for help for anything such as cooking; I'm just unbelievably clumsy. However it's just been draining when you get home from a session and your tea isn't ready on the table and you remember you have to make it yourself.
I said to my coach the other day that, so far, every day something has gone wrong. Of course I'm looking for positives and every day has been great so far, however I would love for one day to just be normal. I.e. no issues to occur, no illnesses or injuries for the day. I was greeted to a phone call off my dad just yesterday saying he had a letter through the post about a 100 pound parking fine that I'd created whilst being here in Leeds. However it's being sorted out due to the circumstances. It was only 2 hours before I'd rang saying I'd been given a parking fine for parking outside of the Carnegie Stadium for my lecture. For anyone coming to Leeds with a car:
1) You can't park anywhere for free.
2) Don't come to Leeds with a car. Get the bus, train, bike... Or even walk.
However, yesterday was the first swim session EVER that I hadn't been lapped on a pull set. It seems ridiculous how someone would be happy over being able to keep up on pull, but I've always been uterly rubbish at it so when I finished the 800 still in contact with the next swimmer, I don't think I've ever smiled so much about something regarding training.
It's the little things that can make your day all the better, especially when emotions are running high off the fact you burnt a piece of toast that morning or you turned your white bra into a black and white stripey one after putting it in the wash (guilty). Uni and independence is a big thing and is all about learning. Things are bound to go wrong (not necessarily as much as what's happened to me) but just focus on the little positives out of the day and you can laugh off the negatives. I also managed to smash a plate last night.
I think everyone in their first month of uni are nervous, emotional and generally confused about pretty much everything. So my advice, if you wish to take on board, is to give a small kind gesture i.e. a little compliment to your friends and I guarantee that it will put a smile on their face and turn their day in to a good one. As Tesco say... Every little helps!
I was also given the all clear from the physio up here in Leeds to get back on my bike yesterday. So a quick spin today has set me up for potentially a good Halloween! I hope to be running by next week. Wohoo!
So, yeah... Happy Halloween!
Leah x
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