Tomorrow will be better

It's hard to put in to words how you feel when there isn't an actual definition for it.
To quantify feelings is merely impossible. You can't possibly measure someone's emotions against another persons. Everyone is different. Everyone hurts in different ways, and we manage this completely different to the person you're sat next to.

Note that I've quickly hit the point of hurting. I haven't said that people celebrate, congratulate, or interact with others differently, which is true. However I'm pressing on the point of the deeper subject.

It's a shame that most of the time, we base our emotions around the people we spend our time with. It's normal, but when you think about it, it's quite sad. We don't (even though we are all self-centered in one way or another) spend enough time thinking about how we can make ourselves a better, happier person.

It's one thing to make someone laugh, but I don't think I've actually ever made someone happy. This doesn't mean I'm a selfish, completely self-centered person. I just don't fully understand myself what happiness is. Again, it's quite sad, but true. It doesn't upset me, it just makes me realise that something has to change. How can you possibly give someone the gift of happiness when you don't know where to start? I'm not implying that everyones role in life is to make others happy. However if you know that all you have to do is smile at someone to help them feel, then it's not exactly the hardest thing to do.

I'm saying this because I want to surround myself in the phenomenon of happiness. I hate feeling like I'm lacking something constantly. I feel like the moments of walking to school with the guilt of knowing you've forgotten something, but can't put your finger on what.

I've come to realise that, most things I do, is not necessarily to make others happy, but I try too hard to please people. They are two very different extremes. I find myself going out of my way in thinking that it's going to make someone like me more, which I now know is simply not the case. Honestly, it's draining.

I always stick by the phrase: Tomorrow will be better. I don't know why, but it seems to be the only thing that keeps me in order.

I don't ask for much, but if I could, I'd want to be careless. That's what would make me happy. I put the pressure of wanting to be liked over my actual feelings which isn't healthy. I over analyse simple situations, build false hope. 

But from now on, I'm sticking to the phrase for real.

Tomorrow will be better.